Talkin’ horns off goats

If you meet me in person, chances are I’ll talk your ears off. 

As a child I sat next to a man on an airplane during a 90 minute flight to Jackson, Mississippi to visit my grandparents. My mother and sister sat in the row in front of me. When we landed, my mom said to the man, “I hope she behaved!”. Without hesitation he replied, “Well, she could talk the horns off a billy-goat.”

Well. I never. (A very nice Southern way to say, WHATEVER!). I’ve never forgotten that. I wonder if I was THAT annoying, or if he thought I was a charming child. I would imagine that the comparison to a billy-goat would equate to annoyance rather than charm.

Either way, I’ve never lost that chatterbox quality. I guess this is all to say, if you come over for dinner – be prepared for lots o’ talkin’.

And if you mention that I’ve been a bit too chatty, anticipate my response to be, “Well bless your heart.” And that is the Southern way of saying, “Blow it out your ear.” Bless your heart just sounds so much nicer doesn’t it?

See Y’all soon.


This entry was published on May 5, 2010 at 5:51 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “Talkin’ horns off goats

  1. susan on said:

    you know good and well that bless your heart means “you b*****” if speaking to a woman, and “f*** you” when speaking with a man

  2. But “bless your heart” is so much nicer…my friends here have equated it to many things (apparently I say it a lot)…”She’s such a sweet girl, but, bless her heart…(this means she is probably not especially attractive)” or “The damn dog pooped on my rug, bless his heart…(this means that, if he poops on my rug again, he will probably not live to see his 5th birthday)”. Often, my friends will hear “Bless your heart…” right before I give them very sage advice, or tell them that they look like crap and need to go to bed. This ties in very closely with having been called out on the way I whisper certain descriptive or expletive words mid-sentence…what can I say, I’m a Southern girl, too, and if noone else understands this, or understands me, I know that I can always count on you…because you say and do the same things…and that, my dear Alex (ha! are you proud, I actually typed ALEX…it was very stressful for me!) is why I love you so much!

    P.S. I remember thinking that you and I were both the most charming children on the face of the earth, you and your chattiness, and me and my…well, bless my heart, my Christmas dinner table antics…charming, abso-friggin’-lutely charming!

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