‘Laundry’ is in my url after all…

This is what earns me the right to drink a vodka martini at 11am on a Thursday morning without needing to sing “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere”, or explaining to anyone why my glass is not really filled with just o.j.

Perhaps I am looking for sympathy here, but this is not your normal laundry duty. This is my husband’s military uniform. I have to wash these filthy things several times each week, and each time seems to get worse than the last.

I mean, ‘Laundry’ is in my url after all…but it’s not to offer tips on how to properly clean your clothes… oh no, it’s to solicit pity and understanding of my need to bribe myself to actually commit to cleaning this stuff.

The smell, oh the smell. It’s something like wet dog, poop, dirty shoes, sweat and maybe throw in a pinch of rotten egg. It is FOUL.

And there’s these fun little dark sticky places that I have to figure out how to scrape off of the fabric. Who knows what it is? He’s out in the woods, climbing mountains and kneeling in brush all day and night…berries? bugs? dooky? Whatever it is, it’s icky.

I spend about 30 minutes per uniform scrubbing the worst areas with a pre-wash spray. If I don’t scrub it prior to washing, the stain won’t budge.

Do you feel sorry for me yet??? (I’m trying really hard to feel super sorry for myself).

Mmmmm, wanna use this to brush your teeth???

Okay, I’ll stop sharing the disgusting parts of being a military wife. There’s good parts too, I’m just not in the mood to share those right now because I feel the need for a good ol’ fashion pity party. And a party isn’t complete without cocktails. (Don’t worry, I’m kidding about the martini at 11am. I’m having iced tea, and it isn’t spiked I promise.)


This entry was published on June 17, 2010 at 12:20 pm and is filed under Squawkings. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

8 thoughts on “‘Laundry’ is in my url after all…

  1. Have you ever tried Oxi-Clean? I resisted it for years but finally broke down. The stuff is amazing. You soak something in it and POOF the stain is gone without a lot of elbow grease. Not sure if those stains are too much for it (does he even know what they are???) but it’s worth a try! 🙂


  2. Kelli on said:

    I shared my washer with one of the soldiers a couple nights ago because he only had socks and underwear (we only have 2 washers for 125 people and our 1SGT only lets us use the dryers after dark or we’ll break them with the heat). You need the industrial soap KBR buys with the hot-water-only washing option.

  3. Oh the dreaded BDU’s!!! I am a military wife who finally got to retire 2 yrs ago!!!! Yeah!!! My hubby was Air Force and a jet mechanic, and that grease, jet fuel, etc… was a mess to get out too. I feel your pain! Feel free to vent, we military wives have to stick together. You just don’t “get it” unless you’re living it! I was grateful when they came out with the wash & wear, I HATED ironing the old BDU’s!! YUCH!! Hang in there! Sending lots of emotional support!!

    • Thank you for the supportive thoughts! The BDU’s are my nemesis…but I scrub and I wash and I soak and I wash, but that Georgia red clay is stubborn as heck. Congrats on your retired status, yay! We still have 5.5 years to go…

  4. MommytoThree on said:

    GIrl, I have lived that and, unfortunately, the job hubby has now is possibly worse than that! I guess they get used to it and cannot live without being filthy, nasty, stinky! I, too, spend hours that I don’t have scrubbing…. and even have some stains that require starter fluid to be sprayed on them! I just wish he would understand why I feel the need to bleach my washing machine after his clothes!! I cannot bear the thought of putting my little babies clothes in there after the unidentified “ick”…. or my towels for that matter!! Anyway, girl, you know I can definitely sympathize. I think the worst day for me was a combination of grease and some dried maggots…. let’s just say those went in the trash!! There are some things even vodka can’t touch!!! 🙂

  5. Angela on said:

    Mine’s usually cowpoop, grease, blood, sweat and mud out of Wranglers–oh, and sunscreen “ring around the collar.” “Stain Be Gone” which is evidetally so strong the formula can’t mix until it leaves the confines of the bottle takes care of all of the above. Squirt it on, rub it in and wait 4 minutes. Can be had at 99 cent and Dollar Stores.

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