NO, I was not drunk

You know, we all have to recognize our own limitations in life.

I used to say there are two things in life that I know I don’t do well, I won’t beat myself up over these things because my brain simply was not wired to do them.

Item 1 that I admit to doing poorly: I can not balance a check book. I just can’t ever get a check book to balance to the penny. So…I just kinda don’t do it. I haven’t balanced a check book since I was about 18.

Item 2 that I admit to doing poorly: Watching my weight. I used to hate this about myself, it was the flaw that I fretted about the most often. I spent money on different programs to lose weight, I did all kinds of exercise programs with trainers and friends, I’ve eaten so much crappy food trying to find the magic path to thinness, and here I am at 35 and I’m still chubby. I just realized that it’s my plot in life to have a weight problem…Fat people are usually funnier anyway. And they’re more likeable. I’ll embrace my chub because it makes me funnier and nicer (or something).

So, I have a third item to add to my list…

Item 3 that I admit to doing poorly: I can not paint my fingernails very well. It’s not a left hand/right hand thing. No, both hands look like crap.

I showed my husband my horrible paint job. I was then assuring him that NO, I was not drunk when I painted my nails. I just suck at it.

The color is my favorite – OPI’s “I’m not really a waitress”. It’s a pretty color, when someone who knows how to paint their nails uses it.

Side note, my finger is all greasy looking because, well, it’s greasy. I had just buttered a dish when I decided to take these photos, so I guess I had butter smeared all over my finger.

Mmmmm, yep, it’s butter.

Maybe if I use the Baba Wawa blur filter no one will notice my horrible nail polishing skills?

If you don’t get the Baba Wawa joke…sorry…it made me laugh.


This entry was published on July 28, 2010 at 4:43 pm and is filed under Squawkings. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

6 thoughts on “NO, I was not drunk

  1. Kayla on said:

    First of all it is a lovely color. Secondly, in the shot where you talk about your greasy-ness, I thought you had just used cuticle oil…also, in that same shot, your nails don’t even look messy. I share two our your things that you don’t do well….my weight (although I did just buy a book at a used book store on the Weigh Down Solution – remember that one from the late 80’s/early 90’s….it is a God thing….I will let you know how it goes) and my nails, which I also keep very short. I have found that I can get away with pale colors only…if I do them myself…or if my girls do them because although they try…they aren’t very good at it either….maybe its genetic…could your mom do her nails? Of, forget it….my mom COULD. And, yes, I got the Baba Wawa reference and it make me chuckle too!

    • Yay, I’m so happy that the Baba Wawa reference wasn’t a loss, I was worried. It made me laugh when I thought of it. And yes, my mom could paint her nails but she did use really light colors so maybe I just didn’t notice if she messed up. Finally, I haven’t heard of the Weigh Down Solution, but good luck with it! You can tell from my posts that I’m a dessert-aholic, so unless a diet is developed that encompasses desserts I guess I’m just gonna keep batteling the bulge. 🙂

  2. Your wonderful, sweet father on said:

    As I raised you (with help from your Mother), I can vouch for the fact that you could never balance your checkbook. Fifteen Chinamen with their abbacusses couldn’t do that on a bet, as you always forgot to write in how much or to whom you wrote the check. But, and lucky for you, your Mother always said “I’ll bet she was sweet when she wrote it!”, and I would have to agree with her.

  3. MommytoThree on said:

    Girl – that is my FAVORITE nail polish!! Betcha coulda guessed that, huh? And I, too, am a dessertaholic….. which I have undoubtedly passed to my children, much to hubby’s chagrin. Oh well. Jaley made the Key Lime Cake for her Daddy and I think he pretty much decided that maybe the “talent” of baking wasn’t such a bad thing if he got to “eat” the rewards!!

  4. You make me laugh every day.

    And it has nothing to do with your weight.

    You’re nice and funny.

    So take that.

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