How exactly are the following things related?:
2 Styrofoam Plates
1 Large Plastic Beer Mug
1 Blue Tail Lizard
Does this clarify???
Allow me to explain further. I was straightening up my laundry room this morning. You see, I’m a weirdo that likes to straighten up my house prior to the housekeepers arriving. Do any of you do this? I don’t want them to actually know the filth that we really find acceptable for our living conditions, so I “fake clean” just prior to their arrival to make it appear as though I am not actually the world’s worst housekeeper.
But I digress.
As I was straightening up, I picked up a military bag my husband had thrown in the floor, as I did something ran out. As you can obviously guess…it was a LIZARD! Or more technically, it’s a skink. For those of you in the southeast, you’re probably quite familiar with these lovely gems. If you’re not from these parts, you should know that the nature of a skink is that if it gets scared it discards its tail, which if consumed by your pet will cause symptoms of stumbling and confusion.
The last thing we need is for Nigel to eat a skink tail.
I mean, can you see the stress in his little face? He was way worried about me as I built up the nerve to capture this reptile before he took over my home.
And did I mention that it was under my husband’s bag? And did mention that he is not home? And did I mention that I full-on blame him for the invasion of this creature? And should I mention that he’ll NEVER hear the end of this? And should I also mention that I also had to kill an ant in my house this morning? That too is his fault. I don’t know why, but it is, trust me!
Back to the task at hand. I used the mug to capture Leonard (I had to give the lizard a name). I had him against the floor, inside the mug.
I should also remind you that I am 6.5 months pregnant, so bending over is not so fun these days. So I fiddled around trying to figure out how in the world I was going to get him from my laundry room floor out to the great outdoors. Meanwhile, I was sweating and huffing and puffing like an old man.
I finally figured out if I cut the lip off of a styrofoam plate, I could slide it under the mug to secure him in there. Then I used a second plate for sturdiness to ensure he wouldn’t sneak out the bottom.
Now it’s time for the release.
Leonard takes a little breath to ensure it’s safe.
Okay, here he goes.
Oh, I have open toe shoes, please please please don’t run back towards me because I will FREAK!!!!!!
Okay, he smells freedom. He’s headed in the right direction.
Run Leonard, Run!
So that’s how my morning has been.
I think I need a drink.