If you don’t have anything nice to say…

Where’s Alex?

Is Alex alive??

Why did Alex abandon her blog???

All good questions! I wish I had simple answers. I guess I started out feeling less than creative and needed a little break to revive the ol’ creative juices. Then I entered into the last few weeks of pregnancy and started getting grumpy and uncomfortable. And well… don’t they say if you don’t have anything nice to say, perhaps you should say nothing at all?

Well… I could have written A LOT of posts about how tired I am. Or about how I get indigestion from simply eating toast. Or maybe a post or four about how swollen my big fat feet have gotten.

Here’s the bottom-line, I am not a graceful pregnant woman. I wish so badly that I could tell you that I have loved the experience of pregnancy, and that I am glowing with anticipation of the arrival of our little one. But the honest-to-goodness truth is I really stink at this! I’m too much of a control freak to enjoy this “experience”, I just want her to get here and for pregnancy to be OVER!

Now that I’ve admitted this not-so-nice fact about myself, perhaps my creative juices will flood forth. I have so much to tell y’all.

So please forgive me for my absence. And thanks to several of you who emailed me this week to make sure I had not fallen off the face of the earth. I’m still around. I’m still pregnant. And I’m trying really hard to be funny again… Because if I don’t quickly start laughing at myself, things are gonna get ugly around here!

So let’s start laughing… I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday. They did a test on the baby’s heart that required me to sit in the same position for about an hour. As I sat I started feeling my feet swell. Just a little at first. Then a lot. I wiggled my toes, shook my feet, the swelling continued. I laid my head back and dozed a bit, waking to the tingling of my swollen pigs. My husband plucked my shoes off, where DEEP red grooves were left across every inch of my feet. Ahhhhh, relief. A few seconds later the doctor walked in. My doctor is my age, handsome, very tall, talks very fast, I don’t think he always gets my sense of humor, he’s easily distracted, and he pretty much says whatever pops into his head. As he walks past my feet, he notices them but continues to walk past. Then he stops, turns around, looks at my feet that look like potatoes and laughs.

“That looks like it hurts.”

I just look at him like I might smack him… “Ya think?”

He tries to get back to his paperwork, then he looks at my feet again, “Do your feet swell this bad often?”

“Uh, only if I walk, sit, drive, wear shoes, wear pants… pretty much every day… so yeah, they swell often.”

He smiles, he has nice teeth. He has green eyes, they sparkle when he laughs. I was in the office very late in the day, I think he was letting his guard down a tiny bit because I actually heard him chuckle.

He smiles and says, “Who’s more ready for the baby to get here? You or your husband.”

Without missing a beat my husband who has quietly sat in the corner of the room pipes up, “ME!”. And the boys get a good hardy chuckle with one another as my feet continue to turn purple.

The doctor says, “Don’t worry, we’ll get you through the last couple of weeks…” This is when I realize that he is saying this to MY HUSBAND, not me! Seriously??? Is this some kind of ol’ boys club? What about ME? My feet are Goodyear blimps at this point!

What else could I do? I laughed. And it felt good to laugh…

L&V

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This entry was published on June 17, 2011 at 6:59 am and is filed under Squawkings. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

13 thoughts on “If you don’t have anything nice to say…

  1. Guuuuuuuurrrrlllll, I feel your pain, honey! I HATED being preggers, for both my kids! And I used to get those big ole elephant feet, too! 40 weeks is waaaaaaaay to long to be pregnant! But lemme tell ya’, once you hold that precious little miracle, you forget all of it. It’s awesome! Good luck to you!

  2. mommytothree on said:

    The summer is the worst for swollen feet! My oldest was born in September and there were days my feet were so tender that I could not even walk!! Ugh. Funny how it seems terrible at the time (and it is!!), but looking back it is more comical than anything. I tell them all the time, it’s a good thing I love you….. you won’t believe what Momma had to go through to get you…. etc. I am sure that you will have a similar experience and that once little Drew is in your arms, it will all seem insignificant. That first little smile is repayment enough for anything!! Hang in there! Not much longer!

  3. Yes these are the weeks that you don’t ever think you will feel like when you are wanting to be preggers or in the early months. I remember foolishly thinking i would be one of those women that you see on TV that that wake up with their make-up on and they stand right up, and walk around all perfectly and graceful in high heels!! Then I got to the last few months, I was puffy and tired and couldn’t get up with help, let alone on my own! And forget walking, I was waddling like Donald Duck on the biggest fattest feet, they could have been flippers as graceful as I was. No high heels on those babies either, just slip on flats or flip flops! Yeah, these are the days you look down at your belly and say “Time’s up, here are your eviction papers! Get out! I want my body back!” Heehee!! Hang in there!! And vent away, we all understand and will listen ; )))

  4. I’ve missed you!
    Sorry that you are are having an unpleasant pregnancy. Those swollen feet really sound painful –
    no advice, just thinking about you and hoping the remainder of your pregnancy will go smoothly.

    Glad you’re “back”!

  5. Margie on said:

    Sometime pregnancy is “creating a new life” “glowing” and other stuff. Many time it is just being pregnant and getting through it! Glad nothing really life threating was happening.

  6. gapgrad on said:

    Girl, I understand. I mostly abandoned my blog for
    the same reasons…all I could think to talk about was exhaustion or heartburn. My little bundle of joy was born almost three weeks ago and while I am still sooooo tired (oh my gosh so tired!!!) it’s SOOOO much better having him out than in–pregnancy is no fun! Hang in there girl!

  7. Oh, Alex….first of all…so glad you are back. You and my sister, Kandi, are pregnant….used to blog quite frequently and now….well, don’t. But I tell you – it will get better. As for the doctor bonding with hubby….mine bonded with the delivery doctor on our first pregnancy….I tell you, I was pushing and bursting blood vessels in my eyeballs and they were talking about the NBA finals….yes, the doctor was between my legs…face near my nether-regions, and…..hubby was holding on leg up in the stirrup thingie – while they were deep into a conversation about basketball!!! They did start paying attention later – but I still remember the not so friendly thoughts that were flying through my head!!!

    Keep us all posted.

    • This is short…but wanted to let you know that I had baby Drew yesterday. It was an emergency, but she and I are both fine now. She’s lovely and I adore her! Will post photos as soon as I can!
      Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

  8. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
    I’m stunned, but so excited that she’s here. I’m also very thankful that you’re both doing well. I’m sure she’s a little angel. You both will be in my prayers. Hope all continues to go well and congratulations!! I can’t to wait to see photos. Lots and lots of photos. Kisses and hugs to you both – Jeanne

  9. First thank God that you and Drew are both ok! NOW, Congrats on her being here to you and your hubby!!! Can’t wait to see pix and hear all the news!!!! Yeah, Yippie, Yahoo!!!!!!

  10. Wow – I read your post on my Blackberry while we were traveling yesterday, and didn’t get a chance to reply. Sorry that you had the stress of an emergency birth (been there, done that), but so glad that the two of you are okay. Can’t wait for updates and PICS! Take care.

  11. shyvonne on said:

    Long time lurker, congrats. on the baby. I’m glad everything is ok. Love your writing and the dogs.

  12. Lynne on said:

    Congratulations on baby Drew! Just wanted to let you know that whenever you don’t feel like writing we would be just as happy seeing dog pictures! 🙂

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