Is Alex alive??
Why did Alex abandon her blog???
All good questions! I wish I had simple answers. I guess I started out feeling less than creative and needed a little break to revive the ol’ creative juices. Then I entered into the last few weeks of pregnancy and started getting grumpy and uncomfortable. And well… don’t they say if you don’t have anything nice to say, perhaps you should say nothing at all?
Well… I could have written A LOT of posts about how tired I am. Or about how I get indigestion from simply eating toast. Or maybe a post or four about how swollen my big fat feet have gotten.
Here’s the bottom-line, I am not a graceful pregnant woman. I wish so badly that I could tell you that I have loved the experience of pregnancy, and that I am glowing with anticipation of the arrival of our little one. But the honest-to-goodness truth is I really stink at this! I’m too much of a control freak to enjoy this “experience”, I just want her to get here and for pregnancy to be OVER!
Now that I’ve admitted this not-so-nice fact about myself, perhaps my creative juices will flood forth. I have so much to tell y’all.
So please forgive me for my absence. And thanks to several of you who emailed me this week to make sure I had not fallen off the face of the earth. I’m still around. I’m still pregnant. And I’m trying really hard to be funny again… Because if I don’t quickly start laughing at myself, things are gonna get ugly around here!
So let’s start laughing… I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday. They did a test on the baby’s heart that required me to sit in the same position for about an hour. As I sat I started feeling my feet swell. Just a little at first. Then a lot. I wiggled my toes, shook my feet, the swelling continued. I laid my head back and dozed a bit, waking to the tingling of my swollen pigs. My husband plucked my shoes off, where DEEP red grooves were left across every inch of my feet. Ahhhhh, relief. A few seconds later the doctor walked in. My doctor is my age, handsome, very tall, talks very fast, I don’t think he always gets my sense of humor, he’s easily distracted, and he pretty much says whatever pops into his head. As he walks past my feet, he notices them but continues to walk past. Then he stops, turns around, looks at my feet that look like potatoes and laughs.
“That looks like it hurts.”
I just look at him like I might smack him… “Ya think?”
He tries to get back to his paperwork, then he looks at my feet again, “Do your feet swell this bad often?”
“Uh, only if I walk, sit, drive, wear shoes, wear pants… pretty much every day… so yeah, they swell often.”
He smiles, he has nice teeth. He has green eyes, they sparkle when he laughs. I was in the office very late in the day, I think he was letting his guard down a tiny bit because I actually heard him chuckle.
He smiles and says, “Who’s more ready for the baby to get here? You or your husband.”
Without missing a beat my husband who has quietly sat in the corner of the room pipes up, “ME!”. And the boys get a good hardy chuckle with one another as my feet continue to turn purple.
The doctor says, “Don’t worry, we’ll get you through the last couple of weeks…” This is when I realize that he is saying this to MY HUSBAND, not me! Seriously??? Is this some kind of ol’ boys club? What about ME? My feet are Goodyear blimps at this point!
What else could I do? I laughed. And it felt good to laugh…